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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Life

Have you ever heard someone say that there's no reason for people to visit your blog if you dont update your blog daily. To that I say "Ha!" Hahahahaha Hey come on I cant update my blog everyday. Well unless I have something to talk about but apparently I dont! So I cannot updare this blog every day and Im sorry okay? Life has been..I dont know. Not good I guess? But Alhamdulillah. I always complained about the boring of my home life but I know, definitely know I will miss this once I start to further my studies. So I just have to deal with this. But its funny how when one part of your life falls away,the other bits that are left start looking rather feeble. I've always thought that life will always be happy and Im never going to change who I am. But now Im thinking I've never exactly who I am before bcs people change and its your choice to lead the changes to something good or bad. I once read that the teenage years can be a constant battle. Well ehem this is my final year being in a battle I guess? Im 19 and 20 is not consider as a teenage anymore. Hm sad truth. Questions, what is Happy? And is it okay to feel a constant depression?

But first let me take a selfie 
Oh and currently Im having this massive obsession towards boy bands. You know they're rad? Haha and I've ask fm account(bajet tak). Im bored so I make one. Feel free to ask me anything there. You can just type aplusrx and you can comment me or anything. Im open. Assalamualaikum.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Hi

So, just a sprinkle of update after a long time of nothing?
Happy June to everyone.
Good day.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Wednesday Girl

Got problem? (Ekspresi muka yang tak masuk sbb ada cekelat kanak kanak riang kat situ)
Cekelat cekelat pun, M&M's okay? So pls. Hehe. I just want to make this clear. There's nothing wrong in expressing yourself using your words and style. Like me, I prefer rojak je. My blog my style lah. I admit I dont have superb writing skills that you or my readers can find none grammatical errors whatsoever but lemme told you, there's superb stories with broken language. Hahaha Im not saying my stories are all superb (No way!) Uhh. The point is, a great blog doesnt have to be one with perfectly written grammar. Yes, somethimes the usage of correct grammar is important but yowww who cares? As long as the meaning is understood by me, Im putting my style on it. Sometimes I just purposedly mispell words to be seen as cute or just whatsoever. Although its not..(Hahahaha au dah kenapa Ariana, confession?) Just because one dont have exceleence (just tryna make it cute) (Well its not) Sorry, otak aku tgh monolog dalaman. Sambung balik. Just because one dont have excellence knowledge of writing doesnt meant one should stop from blogging or writing. I just get plain A in Spm, but still Im writing in Englis. Why? Because I love it and I love You. Haha kau dah knp. Ok bye lads :* I fee like brand new out of sudden. Well not sudden to be honest. I've driving class about an hour from now. Salam Perpaduan

I felt so cute in this picture. And I dont even know why
Sorry the for the non-connected-photo-with-pst, Excessive self admire I think Uh-Oh!

A lost, mother.

Assalamualaikum. This blog has been so long outdated. Its not like nothing interesting happened. Well, actually a lot of things happened. Alot that makes me re-think about my life and yet I still dont realize anything. Im just useless caliphs.Yes, I just lost my mom about a month ago. Allah lebih sayangkan beliau. She suffered from colon cancer. I read the report, its matastatic carcinoma of unknown primary. Carcinoma refers to colon. So yeah, it will be hard if the doctor state the reason of death is cancer, the procedure will be hard. We just dont want Ibu to suffer. IF you know what I mean. Losing a mother suffered from cancer is truthfully a tremendous blow to me. To the whole family. Its just a short battle. I moved from Kuantan to Kl, as it will be easier for my dad to take care the whole family. Its a drastic decision. Srsly. I've to quit job from Pakson. Im okay with it. Ibu lagi penting. Allah pinjamkan dia sekejap je..sekejap sgt..sgt sgt..Tapi sebagai hambanya, saya kena bersyukur. I've receicved the oppurtunity to know Ibu, to learn form Ibu, to love Ibu and to get Ibu's love, to have Ibu that every children in this world would want to. (Its true, my friend told me ''Kan best klu ada ibu mcm ibu awk'') These are all gifts. I read some google search, Antara kematian kematian yang baik adalah kematian dari bahagian perut. Alhamdulillah. Allah will granted her a very nice place. In shaa Allah. Every day is hard, Im afraid, I do. Im scared if I couldnt cope with this. I try to keep my head and heart up always and hold onto a positive mindset. After Ibu died, the one thing I kept repeatiing myself is that ''She's not hurting anymore''. Even when I miss her and really really miss Ibu, I have to stop and remind myself of how much pain she was in, anh how she will never have to hurt like that again. She will always live on through me. Always Ibu, Always. I remembered when Ibu keep on merungut yang dia sakit sgt kena cucuk sana sini utk ambil darah. I know Ibu. Kakak tahu Ibu sakit..Kakak tahu..walaupun kakak tak rasa. And she called me ''Ariana, meh sini'' I came to her and hold her hand. Ibu ask me ''Tissue'' Me, ''Oh tisu'' I took and give it to her. She took the tissue slowly and wipe her tears slowly.While looking at me ''Sakit'' Sambil menangis. I cannot cry infront of her. I said ''Sabar Ibu, sabar..sikit je'' I kissed her forehead..and nurse pun cakap ''Sabar ye puan, kami guna baby needle'' I cannot write this anymore. There's a lot to be remembered. Alot..The word, Pain. Life Goes On. Sounds cliche but thats reality.


Thursday, December 20, 2012

its just a phase

Teenagers that was or were in love will always go through this phase of *drum rolls pls* Heartbroken. Ahhhhhhhhhh sick Im sick of every-thing-about-love. Ceh *ayat sakit hati* Love is good when it is right. Remember tht. After the second time in a row being cheated on (not to mention a very, very hmmm _____ relationship) I know he will always told me that it is my fault. Fine. It is my fault. I agree! (ha ha) But still, who was the first place to cheat? Like, twice? My head was spinning and I kept repeating...... ''I can't believe this is happening again, I can't believe this is happening again.....'' I thought I had met ''Mr. Right''......I know what you guys are thinking..at this age? Probably no right? Yes. It turned out to be just a big, ugly mess. Its not a mistake. It is not. Really. Its a beautiful mistake. Really truly beautiful mistake. Am I being exaggerate? Tell me not! Being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal. But when it happened to me twice in a row, I was forced to take a long, hard look at myself. Tell the thruth, I still text him or whatever but after what had happened yesterday, its all over. He said.

Okay, back on track. What I found was being cheated on is like traumatic. The suspicions, the lies, the fights (which is the worst thing) and the moment of finding out. Yes, to-him-who-shouldnt-be-named, thanks for being completely honest. I must give you my standing ovation for that. Would my mine? *standing ovation* Okay Im done. He dont tell, I found it by myself who is that lucky girl. Congratulatuions, girl HOOOOO RAY for you. In some small way, it still stings sometimes to think about it. Whatever. It doesnt mean anything. Just because its still hurts doesnt mean I miss the relationship or him. Just that it hurt. And sucked. There's countless questions in my head Is she prettier, smartier, funnier, etc etc etc etc. and on and on until my head would explode! There is no definite answer. I'll go bananas trying to find it. Ha ha but I wont. Being cheated is incredibly hurtful. It is not only selfish but cruel.

To be completely honest because I never be honest before this. ( I AM JUST KIDDING) I was heartbroken, vulnerable, and yes, a little desperate. I have to open my eyes like really wide O.O and deal with it. What goes around comes around. One question, Does karma exist? It would be glad if Karma exist. Ha ha :C


Currently listening to Sayang - Shae. Oh shut up. /annoyed/